21. Peanut Butter Ice Cream, Calamari, Nerf Guns, Christmas Trees, Eggs

In our second family-friendly episode, we add peanut butter ice cream, calamari, Nerf guns, Christmas trees and eggs (the kind from chickens that you eat) to the List of Every Damn Thing.
In this special cuss-free episode, Phil and Jake continue making the List of Every Damn Thing (and checking it twice) by ranking peanut butter ice cream, calamari, Nerf guns, Christmas trees and unfertilized chicken eggs.

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, let us know by sending an email to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).

  • According to Dr. Anthony Fauci, Santa Claus is in fact immune to COVID-19.
  • Something Phil forgot to mention was the tremendous Santa comic book by Grant Morrison, Klaus, which is of course part of the Santa-verse.
  • Jake found a recipe for peanut butter ice cream that appears to have a smooth consistency. Recipe websites are awful, somehow they’re worse than porn sites AND song lyrics sites. Anyone who wants to get rich quick should come up with a way to make a recipe website without all the family history SEO stuff at the top.
  • The ice cream featured in this episode was from Toy Boat by Jane on Clement Street in San Francisco, which (as discussed in Episode 20) was recently the victim of a broad-daylight toy heist.
  • We tried to walk the line on our pronunciation of the word “caramel” but according to the internet you can pretty much pronounce it however you want. You can make caramel by cooking sugar in a pan until it melts and then stirring in butter and a little vanilla. It’s sort of tricky, if you cook it too long it turns into toffee. 
  • Phil learned about French Juice from The Crown of Mist: the FInal Day of Princess Diana, an extremely good audio documentary from Episode 1. While looking for French Juice on the internet, Jake found this Batman-themed cocktail which contains champagne and coffee.
  • Whoppers ice cream isn’t just a fantasy. It looks like Beyers used to make a Whoppers-laden frozen dairy dessert which wasn’t that great, and Ciao Bella made a malted milk ball gelato that wasn’t so bad. Unfortunately, both have been discontinued, but you can always make your own at home.
  • Sardines make you immortal because they have omega-3 fatty acids (immortality acids) in them. We don’t have the link but Phil eats sardines frequently and is alive. When Jake’s cat was a kitten, Phil would feed him sardines and he is also still alive. QED.
  • There’s a long tradition of San Francisco residents closing-out the holiday season with Christmas tree bonfires at Ocean Beach. Not everyone supports this tradition.
  • The egg substitute made from garbanzo bean juice that Phil refers to is called aquafaba.

Pixar’s Coco * peanut butter * Snickers Ice Cream Bar * cold brew shandy * Whoppers * Oreos * cephalopod intelligenceMork from Ork

Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

  1. Dolly Parton - person
  2. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
  3. Prince - person
  4. Cher - person
  5. Donald Duck - fictional character
  6. Hank Williams - person
  7. air - substance
  8. Watchmen - comic book
  9. onions - food
  10. “Midnight Train to Georgia” - music
  11. sex - idea
  12. firefighters - people
  13. The Three Stooges - comedy act
  14. Christmas trees - seasonal decoration
  15. intro to “Back That Azz Up” - music
  16. dilapidated shacks - structures
  17. shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels - idea
  18. plants - life form
  19. handkerchiefs - accessory
  20. nail clippers - tool
  21. rye bread - food
  22. cubed ice - substance
  23. Antoni Gaudi - architect
  24. Run the Jewels - music group
  25. land - substance
  26. Charmander - fictional character
  27. A-shirts (aka “wifebeaters”) - clothing
  28. “Dancing Queen” - music
  29. Watchmen - TV series
  30. Jessica Rabbit - fictional character
  31. Volkswagen “Bug” - vehicle
  32. Cheech and Chong - comedy act
  33. “Tulsa Time” - music
  34. cold brew shandy - beverage
  35. Jersey Shore - location
  36. crows - animal
  37. sea - substance
  38. coffee - beverage
  39. eggs (chicken) - food
  40. Whoppers - food
  41. national debt - idea 
  42. band t-shirts - clothing
  43. Crocs - clothing
  44. Ice Cube - person
  45. wind chimes - decoration / instrument
  46. moist - word
  47. Nerf guns - toy
  48. lightning rounds - idea
  49. zipper jeans - clothing
  50. generation ships - idea
  51. sardines - animal
  52. peanut butter ice cream - food
  53. Tommy Bahama shirts - clothing
  54. zipper jeans  worn with no underwear - situation
  55. Barry Bonds - person
  56. man-bun - hairstyle
  57. toe shoes - clothing
  58. “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” - song
  59. Watchmen - movie
  60. blood - substance
  61. Oreos - food
  62. calamari - food
  63. The Last Starfighter - movie
  64. crushed ice - substance
  65. pigeons - animal
  66. Daylight Saving Time - idea
  67. capitalism - idea
  68. sports team jerseys - clothing
  69. Josta - beverage 
  70. Gambit - fictional character
  71. Surge - beverage
  72. Double Stuf Oreos - food
  73. Jenny McCarthy - person
  74. Hank Williams, Jr - person
  75. McRib - food
  76. QAnon - idea

The theme song is by Jade Puget. Audio mastering by Luke Janela. Graphic design by Jason Mann.

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