83. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fireworks, Wind

We rank the 1980s teen movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off, fireworks, and wind on the List of Every Damn Thing.
Friend-of-the-pod Donovan is back to help Phil and Jake rank John Hughes' classic film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, fireworks, and the meteorological phenomenon known as wind on the List of Every Damn Thing.

If you have something to add to the list, email it to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

  • One of our tweets got a like from DC the Brain Supreme of Tag Team, who of course brought you “Whoomp! (There It Is)”. Here’s the Geico commercial where they do a new ice cream-themed version of the song. We just realized DC shouts “Sprinkles!” at the end of the commercial, which probably has something to do with why he liked our tweet for the episode in which we rank cake sprinkles.
  • When Phil said there was a woman who calls herself Jessica Rabbit, he was referring to Melyssa Ford, who is a model who used to be in a lot of rap videos. 
  • Naturally, we talk a lot about movies, including other works by director John Hughes (Home Alone, The Breakfast Club) and many of the films that are already on the List of Every Damn Thing (Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Caddyshack, The Matrix, Trading Places, The Truman Show, Drumline, Star Wars). War Games is another movie where Matthew Broderick uses a computer to change his grades.
  • There’s also Career Opportunities, the last Hughes teen comedy. It's not discussed much except by creeps who remember it mostly for the scene where Jennifer Connelly rides a hobby horse.
  • The Prestige is the best Christopher Nolan movie, it's about rival Victorian magicians & about doubles, doppelgangers, brothers, etc. The best part is when Hugh Jackman's character hires an actor that resembles him to be half of the magic trick. The second best part is whenever Michael Caine opens his mouth.
  • John Mulaney is a well-known stand-up comedian from suburban Chicago who kind of seems like Ferris Bueller. He was a writer for Saturday Night Live.
  • Phil might have been confused as usual when he was talking about Abe Froman being the name of the character in the Palm Beach Story. He's called "the Weenie King" and he's a rich old man who knows where to buy meat cheap.
  • Rampage was a video game where you can control one of three giant monsters that destroy a city. When they're defeated they turn back into naked humans. It was adapted into a movie starring Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson. 
  • The painting that Phil mentioned was Georges Seurat's A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte which is at the Art Institute of Chicago. It was the inspiration for the musical Sunday in the Park with George, which Phil's never seen.
  • Of course we devote time to the Sport-o’s, Motorheads, Geeks, Sluts, Bloods, Wasteoids, Dweebies and Dickheads.
  • We went over the crimes of Jeffrey Jones in our Howard the Duck episode, in case you care to learn more.
  • The Ferris Bueller sitcom was on TV at the same time as Parker Lewis Can’t Lose but didn’t last as long because it presumably sucked.
  • Ferris Bueller’s Day Off gave the song “Oh Yeah” by Yello a real boost.
  • Does Donovan think the NYPD is giving him Havana syndrome? No, but that doesn’t mean he trusts them.
  • We briefly discuss dog suicide. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
  • Phil mentions the Simpsons episode “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show”, maybe his favorite episode. It includes a short cartoon called The Beagle Has Landed in which Itchy and Scratchy are on their way to the fireworks factory but are interrupted by Poochie, who introduces himself by rapping. They never go to the fireworks factory.
  • Jake tells a Warped Tour story about Rusty Pistachio from the band H2O flexed on some dudes from an unnamed mediocre punk band who were shooting very lethal fireworks very close to Jake and his friends.
  • Smith Puget gets quite a lot of well-deserved compliments in the episode.
  • The “little man” is the system used by the San Francisco Chronicle to review movies. Instead of stars there are pictures of a man in one of five positions: clapping wildly and jumping out of his seat, clapping, sitting attentively, asleep, or the dreaded empty chair. They should probably make some more specific ones like the guy's face is melting off because the movie is too trippy or he's eating a movie theater hot dog.
  • The “Sonoma Aroma” is a phenomenon in which, on some days, in some parts of Sonoma County, California, there will be a smell of cow manure in the air. This is not to be confused with the Tacoma Aroma, which is caused by some kind of wood processing.
  • Many windmills are hardly more than glorified dilapidated shacks (which is still high praise coming from us).

glitter * Chicago * feminism * Charlie SheenIrish twins * cutting school aka skipping class * real estate * John Candy * Alan Ruck * the Von Steuben Day Parade * Pee-Wee HermanBen Steinmetatextuality * Star Trek: The Next Generation * bottle rocket fights * Black Cats * BIC lighters * firefighters * earplugs * handkerchiefs * beer & wings * San Francisco’s Chinatown * nail clippers * rye bread * snare drums * Bon Jovi * sailors * forest fires * air * volcanoesDon Quixote * tornadoes * hurricanes * fans * the sea * Mendocino County * podcasts

Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).

  1. Dolly Parton - person
  2. interspecies animal friends - idea
  3. sex - idea
  4. bicycles - tool
  5. coffee - beverage
  6. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
  7. Prince - person
  8. It’s-It - food
  9. Doctor Doom - fictional character
  10. Cher - person


251. Jon Voight - person
252. Hank Williams, Jr - person
253. British Royal Family - institution
254. Steven Seagal - person
255. McRib - food
256. death - idea
257. war - idea
258. cigarettes - drug
259. QAnon - idea
260. transphobia - idea

Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.

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